2023: My Four-year Cancerversary. 4 Things I’ve Learned
September 2023: Four years have passed since I heard, “You have breast cancer.” It is my cancerversary, and much has changed since that world-altering appointment in 2019. It feels like forever ago, and also just like yesterday.
In honor of my cancerversary this year, I decided to share four things I’ve learned about cancer since my diagnosis.
1. Stage Zero Doesn’t Mean Zero Challenges.
When I heard that my breast cancer was caught early and it was small, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. A small and contained cancer meant it would be easier, right? My treatment still involved more imaging, biopsies, surgery, radiation, and a recommendation for five years of tamoxifen. None of those were easy.
Because my DCIS wasn’t yet invasive, I didn’t require chemotherapy as a part of my treatment, and for that, I was grateful. But that gratitude alone didn’t relieve my exhaustion, stress, worry, and anxiety. In fact, I decided to write “A Breast Cancer Journey: Living It One Step at a Time” because I was shocked at how hard my Stage Zero breast cancer treatment was to go through. I hoped that writing it would help others facing a similar diagnosis.
2. We are a Part of the Decision-Making.
When I broke my hand many years ago, there wasn’t a lot of decision-making I needed to do. I knew I needed to go and get an x-ray, followed by some treatment- likely a brace or a cast.
I had no idea how much I would be involved in making the decisions during my cancer treatment. It began with choosing a new care team and was followed by decisions about testing, imaging, further biopsies, surgery type, radiation, and endocrine therapy.
I was making decisions all the time, and it required me to be educated about the options and empowered as I made my decisions. Do I remove part of my breast or all of it? It didn’t matter that I never wanted to make that decision in the first place; I was now empowered to make this decision as a part of my treatment. I could consult with my medical team and loved ones, but ultimately, it was my body, and I needed to own my choice.
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You long for encouragement along the way, from someone who has been there.
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3. Cancer Challenges our Physical, Mental, & Emotional Well-Being.
I wasn’t prepared for the wave of worry, anxiety, and stress that came with the diagnosis. I alternated between a desire to reassure my loved ones and a wave of anger at my situation.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen my husband cry as much as he did while we were going through all of this. I lay awake at night worrying about results and watched my teenage sons struggle with their mom’s mortality. My mind wouldn’t slow down, and the nights were the worst. Everyone else was sleeping, and my mind was racing about the what-ifs.
I was anxious one moment and frustrated the next. And then came the physical fatigue from radiation. I didn’t have the energy to get through the day, and sleep wouldn’t fix it. My soul was exhausted.
4. Recovery is a Process- Not an Event.
As I was going through treatment, I longed for when I would be recovered. I wanted to close the door on breast cancer and get back to normal. It didn’t help that I finished treatment right before the pandemic started.
As the time since my treatment grew longer, I began to realize that while I was feeling better, it didn’t happen all at once. I didn’t wake up one day feeling recovered. Instead, I watched my skin heal slowly and gradually experienced more stamina and energy.
I made changes, like adding more exercise and revamping my routines, to support my recovery. I embraced the idea that recovery is a process to walk through, not an event.
Looking Forward
I’ve also learned that there is a supportive and understanding cancer community all around me. When I write about cancer fatigue, I’m heard. When I share about scanxiety, I’m understood. And, should something come up that needs more testing, I’m surrounded with support.
It’s been four years since diagnosis. I’m grateful for the mammogram that found the cancer, the fantastic medical team orchestrating my treatment, and my incredible family and friends who loved and supported us in many ways.
It’s been four years since my DCIS diagnosis— it feels like forever since that diagnosis day, and also just like yesterday.
Jennifer Douglas
Jennifer is the author of "A Breast Cancer Journey: Living it One Step at a Time," breast cancer survivor, and patient advocate. Her book, published in 2023 by Bold Story Press, is an encouraging guide for breast cancer patients. It contains first-hand information, organized by topics, to help readers navigate the diagnosis, treatment, and recovery from breast cancer. Her writing emphasizes emotional, mental, and physical well-being along with empowered decision-making.