18 Personal Development Books for Our 18 Year Old

When our eldest son turned 18 last year, my husband and I gifted him with a collection of 18 inspirational books. Instead of a gift that he would outgrow or need to charge, we thought this would be a great way to begin his nonfiction personal development library. We bought paper copies of the books because we wanted to personalize the gift. Since Dave and I chose these books specifically for Ken, we wanted to include notes inside to explain why we picked them.

Personalizing the Books- Writing Notes on Bookmarks

I initially thought we could write on the inside, and then I realized that if he ever wanted to give the book away, that note would disappear with the book. So instead, I decided to create a custom “library sleeve” inside each book. Inside the sleeve, I put a bookmark that had a note from one or both of us explaining why we chose each book for him. I used my Cricut to make the sleeves and then glued them inside the book.

This list includes books on money, personal development, leadership, and planning. There are 19 books on the list because we chose a bonus one after seeing Ken have some challenges in the spring of his senior year. We hoped that these books could be a source of encouragement and inspiration for him as he went to college.

I’m excited to include some writing from Dave on this list about the books that he specifically chose for Ken.

Affiliate Disclosure: These books include affiliate links, which means I will earn a small commission if you choose to buy one. For more information, see my disclaimer page.

18 (plus 1) Personal Development Books

1. Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones, James Clear. There is so much more to getting things done than making lists and sticking to them. I love this book because it delves into human psychology and behavior and teaches us how to create reproducible habits. Clear encourages us to start small when we are working on a behavior. Don’t try to fix your entire life with one plan. Start with going to bed at a reasonable time every night. Then, build upon that habit. “Small habits helped me fulfill my potential, and since you picked up this book, I’m guessing you’d like to fulfill yours as well.”
2. Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln: 21 Powerful Secrets of History’s Greatest Speakers, James C. Humes. “Communication is something all adults need to master if they intend to make a mark on the world. These two famous orators are icons and inspire me to make the most of the situations I find myself in. Given how Ken loves history, I thought learning communication from historical titans like Churchill and Lincoln might be a good fit.”- Dave.
3. The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, Dave Ramsey. This book has been the inspiration for our financial plan for many years. While we don’t keep our money in physical envelopes, we have a program that keeps our money organized in digital envelopes. Ramsey’s catchphrase “Debt is Dumb, Cash is King,” is easy to remember when facing a purchase decision. Paying off debt, not purchasing things we can’t afford, and having an emergency fund are not flashy things to do, but we have lived and discussed them repeatedly with the boys. I hope that the lessons from our kitchen table and the strategies in this book can help our sons start out with a solid financial understanding.
4. Who Moved My Cheese, Spencer Johnson. This is a short book that talks about how we deal with change. It teaches this message through an allegory. There are two rats in a maze, looking for their cheese. What happens when it moves? Ken’s life was about to change in a powerful way. He was leaving home and headed several states away for college. The change was inevitable. His response to the new was something he had the opportunity to impact.
5. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain. Ken and I are the two introverts in the family. We have spent many evenings together on the couch, reading books and not talking to each other. Quiet refreshes us. Cain’s premise is that introversion is a strength, even though our society has grown to revere and honor extroverts. This book inspired me to embrace qualities of introversion, such as my desire to spend time alone reading and writing and see them as strengths. Cain writes, “I have seen firsthand how difficult it is for introverts to take stock of their own talents, and how powerful it is when finally they do.”
6. High-Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Became That Way, Brendon Burchard. This book was the first introduction I had to Brendon’s platform of encouragement and inspiration. It is another book that extols the power of habits and practices as foundations for excellence. I value this book because it goes beyond the conventional advice of working hard at something you’re passionate about. More practice and hours and less sleep aren’t the tickets to success. So then, what is? Burchard asks, “How can you joyfully sustain success over the long term? How can you inspire and empower others to do the same?”
7. Today Matters: 12 Daily Practices to Guarantee Tomorrow’s Success, John C. Maxwell. “It’s hard to pick just one book of Maxwell’s. That being said, I enjoy reading Maxwell’s pragmatic application of Christian principles and faith into the doldrums of day-to-day living. I wanted Ken to consider Maxwell’s Christian wisdom as he began his adult life. “-Dave.
8. The Ascent of Money: A Financial History of the World, Niall Ferguson. “The American way is about the pursuit of happiness. Of course, many parts of my portrait of the American dream had these pesky dollar signs next to them. Again, I’m tapping into Ken’s love of history to help him understand the history of our economic system. If we’re working hard to put food on the table, we might as well understand how did we get this far from trading livestock and grains.”- Dave.
9. Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking when Stakes are High, Kerry Patterson. “This book was given to me early in my leadership career. It’s been a powerful book to help each of us to understand our narrative as we work to resolve conflicts with others. The book is straightforward and can help any of us be more prepared for the conversations that mean the most.” – Dave.
10. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey. Ken already had the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, written by Sean Covey, in his library. As he embarked into the adult world, we thought this book would be an effective one at helping him understand the right thing to be doing at the right time. It can be tempting to put off the important things, the big dreams, and projects with the tyranny of the everyday grind. Covey’s encouragement to begin with the end in mind and put first things first are timeless. This book goes beyond our personal habits and encourages us to seek interdependence and synergy in our relationships. The focus on character is challenging and inspiring. Covey writes, “Eventually, if there isn’t deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short-term success.”
11. Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life, Alan Deutschman. Sustaining lifelong change is a difficult challenge. It is possible to lose weight on a diet and then gain it back a few years later. As Dave was about mid-way through his weight loss journey, he came across this book. It was influential to us in designing a new lifestyle and approach that would enable Dave to maintain a healthy weight for the long term. Ken was facing a significant change in his life that would require him to adjust. The keys in this book- relate, repeat, and reframe are practices that can sustain a change for the long term.
12. To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, Daniel H. Pink. “An excellent book to help all of us realize that successful people in all types of roles need to be able to influence others. As Ken steps out to make a career coding software, I thought it made sense to remind him that he’ll need to sell his ideas with his team and leadership if he wants to make an impact. “- Dave.
13. Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, Chip Heath. “A great collection of case studies that shows why some ideas work and others don’t. I was hoping that Ken would be able to see a bigger picture in his environment and with those around him. I value big ideas that change things. This book adds valuable perspective on how to shape our own big ideas.”- Dave.
14. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie. Ken graduated high school during the pandemic. Instead of an in-person graduation ceremony, like many of his generation, his was virtual. There was a lot to worry about. Sadly, worry robs us of the joy possible each day. Carnegie writes, “We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.”
15. How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie. As Ken headed to college, he faced the incredible opportunity to build a new network of relationships. Instead of relying on the comfort and familiarity of his family, he would be joining a campus culture filled with new people. This book, written over 90 years ago, shares time-honored ideas on building friendships and influence. Principles such as “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain, and give honest and sincere appreciation,” are ones that make it easier to be in relationships.
16. Born to Win: Find Your Success, Zig Ziglar. We love the way that Zig uses a story to illustrate a principle. Our family spent many road trips listening to Zig teach principles of personal development and success. Success, or winning, doesn’t come without planning and preparation. College would be the next training ground in Ken’s life journey. How successful he would be would now be laid squarely in his lap. His choices and vision were up to him. Our ability to direct him was now transitioning into influence. In this book, Zig lays out his philosophy for winning in three parts: Planning, Preparing, and Expecting. As he says, “You were born to win, but to be the winner you were born to be, you have to plan to win and prepare to win. Then and only then can you expect to win.”
17. The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy, Thomas J Stanley. This book challenges the image we might have of who the wealthy are, how they got there, and how they live. The author, Stanley, conducted a national study of millionaires in 1980 and discovered that most of them do not live like the media would present them. This book compiles his research and includes many quotes that are just as relevant today as they were when the original edition was published. “Wealth is often the result of a lifestyle of hard work, perseverance, planning, and most of all, self-discipline.”
18. The Effective Executive: The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done, Peter F Drucker. “Essential reading for anyone who finds themselves as a “knowledge worker.” With Ken starting his studies to become a software developer, I knew this book was going on the list. My favorite quote is ‘Know Thy Time!’ “- Dave
19. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to say No to Take Control of your Life, Henry Cloud. This book was a bonus book that we added after watching Ken struggle to plan his time as he was working, making college decisions, studying for the AP tests, and completing his final semester at school. I watched him try to please everyone and run out of hours in the day. This book has been a tremendous help to me as I have established boundaries in my life with work, relationships, and my own time. Cloud explains, “Just as homeowners set physical boundaries around their land, we need to set mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries for our lives to help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what isn’t.”

It was quite emotional to watch Ken open these up on his birthday and read through our notes. These books all made it into his car as he headed off to college. We couldn’t be with him every step of the way in college, but he had access to some of our favorite resources through his new nonfiction personal development library.