The Closing of Act 2: The College Goodbye
After the college move-in surprise on Friday, we had a few days left in Tuscaloosa before we said our airport goodbyes on Sunday evening. Now that Dan had moved into his dorm, the hotel room was ours, except he had driven off with our transportation. With no car to explore and Dan off to his first social events, what would the rest of the weekend look like?
A Celebratory Dinner
After Dan dropped us off, we realized we were on our own for dinner. But, our hotel wasn’t near the downtown area like in the spring. So, it was time to take a Lyft to town so we wouldn’t be stuck foraging for food at a convenience store.
“So, what do you want to do for dinner?” Was the next question out of Dave’s mouth after we settled back into our room without Dan. After a long day of moving in, I was pretty exhausted. I was also dealing with some cramps, which were not a welcome addition to the day.
I flopped on the bed after taking some more Advil. “How about we go back to the Avenue Pub?” I suggested. We had been there in the spring, and I had enjoyed the food and the atmosphere.
“Sounds good to me,” Dave replied. Okay, great, we had a plan— that always makes things easier.
The restaurant was busy when we arrived, so there was a wait. Apparently, we weren’t the only parents who had decided this was the place to go after moving in! We decided to stroll down University Boulevard while we waited for our table. The trees buzzed with insects, and the warm air encircled us as we walked. There was an energy on the streets, one of anticipation and excitement. The town’s pulse had quickened since the students had returned for the fall.
It was early spring when we were there last, so the trees were just beginning to leaf out. Now they were full, some were blooming, and it felt lush as we walked down the street. As the road curved towards the university, we turned around and returned to the restaurant. I saw the city with new eyes, realizing this would be Dan’s home for the next few years. I hoped his first event was going well, and I couldn’t wait to hear about it the next day.
But first, we needed dinner! It didn’t take long for our table to be ready. We were seated at a high booth and decided to sit next to each other rather than facing each other. It felt cozy and offered us an ideal space to talk and people-watch.
As I sipped my glass of rosé, I realized what we were celebrating. We had done it. Dan’s move-in represented the closing of a long act two in our lives— that of raising children. In the span of a few days, he’d turned 18, driven almost across the country, and then moved into his dorm. He would always be our son, but now he was an adult.
Saturday Confusion
I woke up on Saturday and reached for my phone. I smiled as I read the text from Dan. His first event had gone well, and he was thrilled with the potential to join this fraternity. I was thankful we hadn’t needed to wait up for him because I’d been exhausted the previous evening.
Dave and I enjoyed a leisurely morning with the hotel breakfast, a walk to the Starbucks, and some working out. We anticipated having lunch in the dorms with Dan, so we got ready and then sat and waited.
And waited.
We called our parents to update them on the move-in day and then waited some more.
Finally, I decided to call Dan.
He was making an errand run with some other guys, and I was on speakerphone in the car.
Hmm, so what did this mean for our day together?
We were confused. It was nearly lunchtime, and he wasn’t on his way to pick us up. Finally, we got more communication from him, and he assured us he would head to the hotel as soon as he dropped his friends off.
More waiting! Dave and I looked at each other and then questioned why we were still in Alabama. Maybe we should have dropped him off and then left. We’d planned on the entire weekend so that we could make sure he was settled and comfortable. Alabama was not close to California, so there wouldn’t be any planned trips to visit him until he came home for Thanksgiving.
We knew why we were still there, but we were getting hungry and were tired of staring at our hotel walls.
Eventually, he pulled up, and the day could finally start. At 12:30.
Campus Dining, Walking, and Sweating
Dan was pumped after his first night and morning in the dorms. He had lots to talk about while chauffeuring us to the university.
After a quick stop in his room, we walked over to the Lakeside Dining, located about 5 minutes from his residence hall towards the main campus. Dan used his guest passes to get us in and then gave us a quick tour of the dining options. He recommended the pulled pork sandwich (because he’d already eaten) and wanted to make sure I knew about the nitro cold brew coffee available.
I could feel my grouchiness at how late the day had started evaporating as I got less hungry.
Once we were done, it was time to walk the campus and see Dan’s classrooms. Dan planned a walk that would mirror the class-to-class transport he would need to do a few days a week.
It was mid-afternoon, and the heat was intense. As we walked, talked, and took photos, I felt the sweat dripping. This humidity was no joke! Dan had a stopwatch going so he could see how difficult it would be to get to his classes on time. I’m sure he wanted to walk faster, but I was dragging.
I thought the UCLA campus was big. Alabama’s felt bigger. Or was it simply the heat? Apparently not. UCLA is 419 acres , and the University of Alabama is 1970 square acres. Plus, it was humid.
Were we there yet? I knew the business building was the destination, but I also knew it was a long hike back to the dorms from that building. Air conditioning sounded lovely. However, none of the buildings were open because school hadn’t started.
Once we got to the business building, I leaned on the steps in exhaustion. I needed a rest and a ride back to the dorms. “Hey Dan, is there a bus we can take?” I asked.
He pulled up an app, and we jumped on a bus that looked like it was headed to the dorms. I was happy to be sitting and slightly cooler. The bus ran a circuitous route through the sorority houses and the outskirts of campus. About 30 minutes later, we ended up back at the business building. Did we miss the dorms? Was this bus ever going to get there? I was thankful for the walking break, but I thought we were getting a ride to where we needed to go, not a bus tour of the university.
Eventually, we ended up close to his dorm, and we exited. I think it was an hour-long bus ride. This would not be the quick way to get from class to class, that’s for sure!!
More Unpacking and Shopping
Once we returned to his room and the fantastic air conditioning, it was time to do some more unpacking. Dan had bought a monitor for his laptop on one of his errand runs, and it was time to hook it up.
Dave and Dan got to work while I got cozy on his new rug. Once it was hooked up, it was time for the moment of truth. How did it look?
Terrible. The monitor’s max resolution and refresh rate made everything on his screen look pixelated. As quickly as the monitor was opened, it was put back.
Clearly, another errand run was in order, along with a stop at a barbecue place for dinner. Dan had another event that night, so we put the monitor in the car and headed back to Best Buy.
I’ve never been one to enjoy browsing at Best Buy, so thankfully, they were able to do the return and make another choice rather quickly. His monitor would be doing double duty as a screen for his Xbox and Mac. Dave and Dan read through all the specs, and I perfected the art of waiting.
BBQ Followed by an Awkward Night
You can’t go to the south and not eat barbecue. The next stop was a local barbecue restaurant called Dreamland Barbecue. We escaped the southern heat and sat down inside the dark but lively restaurant. Ribs, potato salad, and coleslaw were on the table shortly, along with a pile of sauce-filled paper towels we used during the meal.
Dan was looking at his watch, keeping an eye on the time, and so before long, it was time to drop us off at the hotel so he could make his evening event.
We walked into the lobby shortly after 5:30. What would we do with our evening?
Sadly, nothing enjoyable. Dave began finishing something on his computer, and I scrolled my phone. Maybe we could watch a movie? I turned on the TV, hoping the hotel streaming service had something we’d enjoy.
I picked two pretty terrible movies that we fired after a few minutes. Apparently, there was no movie for us. But Dave always travels with extra cables. We could hook his iPad to the TV and watch some West Wing.
Except the hotel TV was stupid. Half an hour later, nothing was working. By then, we were both frustrated. This was not turning out to be a good evening. We were both uncomfortable with the seating in the room. Our choices were the bed or the terrible futon couch. The temperature in the room alternated between hot and sticky when the AC wasn’t running and then frigid as soon as the unit turned on.
It was a recipe for a fight. Eventually, after we got through the boiled-over emotions, we could reconnect and have some decent conversation. Neither of us had a vision for what to make of the evening after being “dumped” off at the hotel so early, and so it devolved into one of those nights…
It didn’t help that we were tracking the weather coming into southern California that next day. A very unusual tropical storm was on the horizon, and we had no idea if our flight would be canceled. Maybe we should have left early instead of being trapped in the hotel room. Dan didn’t seem to need us after all.
Sleep didn’t come easily that night. We knew Sunday was our last day with Dan. We were excited about going to church together but tense about the goodbye and travel uncertainty.
Sunday Morning and Church
My back ached, and my brain was foggy. Somehow, it was Sunday morning. With any luck, I’d be sleeping in my bed that night, but in the meantime, I needed strong coffee. Not the hotel “brown water” that the machine in the room made, but something I could get at Starbucks.
Dave and I shared a brain on this one, so we put on our walking clothes and headed straight to the nearby Starbucks. While the hotel wasn’t centrally located downtown, the closest Starbucks was only 10 minutes away. I might not have slept well, but I would be caffeinated shortly.
As we sipped our coffee, we reflected on the week and looked forward to visiting the church we’d been streaming online for several months. Service was at 11, so we had plenty of time for a relaxing morning.
We’d just returned from our breakfast walk and were preparing for our workouts when Dan’s text pinged. “I’m on my way.”
What?
I looked down at my watch. Was I an hour off? We had asked him to get us at 10:10. We wanted to avoid any confusion like we’d had the day before. Was it 10 a.m. already?
Nope. He was an hour early. Which, I guess is better than an hour late?!?
In his college weekend exhaustion, Dan had misread the clock, and by the time he realized it, he was already in his car. I guess we would have extra time to talk while Dave and I got ready for church.
We had been streaming Calvary Tuscaloosa for the last several months to get a feel for the church. We felt like we were a part of the congregation already, and I was excited to go in person.
I wasn’t prepared for how beautiful the church was on the inside. It’s been a long time since I’ve worshipped in a historic church building. We were warmly welcomed by many of the congregation and left feeling enriched by the service and confident that this church served the college community well.
The College Goodbye
We headed back to the hotel one last time to change and get our suitcases together. Now, it was time to begin the goodbyes.
After loading the suitcases in the car, Dan drove us back to his dorm so I could take more pictures before leaving. We found the laundry room and walked through more of the building before heading to the airport. It is about an hour’s drive to Birmingham from Tuscaloosa, and thus far, it looked like our flights were on time!
The drive passed quickly, and I relished in the last moments. The next time we’d see Dan would be Thanksgiving.
Hugs, long and emotional hugs, were enjoyed at the airport curb. And then, he was off. I watched the car drive away and tried to capture the poignancy of this moment.
As his car drove off, the curtain of Act Two — Our Lives Raising Kids— fell. We walked into the airport, suitcases in hand, a couple, as we had begun so many years ago.
What would Act 3 bring?
Jennifer Douglas
Jennifer is the author of "A Breast Cancer Journey: Living it One Step at a Time," breast cancer survivor, and patient advocate. Her book, published in 2023 by Bold Story Press, is an encouraging guide for breast cancer patients. It contains first-hand information, organized by topics, to help readers navigate the diagnosis, treatment, and recovery from breast cancer. Her writing emphasizes emotional, mental, and physical well-being along with empowered decision-making.
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