Feeling Overwhelmed? How to Carve Out Peace During Challenging Seasons
Some seasons in our lives are overwhelming. Dealing with a new breast cancer diagnosis, parenting challenges, relationship conflicts, money issues, or even a sick pet can strain our emotional and physical resources to a breaking point. It can be even more stressful when dealing with more than one of these simultaneously.
How can we carve out peace and maintain some semblance of well-being when life feels overwhelming everywhere we turn?
Feeling Overwhelmed? Accept It
As I write this, my two beagles are resting behind me in the office with their leashes on. They are recovering from a particularly nasty doggy cold and since I don’t want to clean up spit-up all over the house, they are in here with me.
Just yesterday, I was cleaning up non-stop spit up after being up all night with Dodger. It was a lot to deal with. Everyone in the house was tired. This illness came after some significant family challenges that have been occurring over the past few weeks.
Life has been overwhelming, and we didn’t see any of this coming.
Dave and I have been walking the lake, trying to cope with this new season, and we are exhausted. Hope seems to be in short supply as we navigate our days. It is hard.
I’m feeling overwhelmed, and accepting this fact helps me find some peace. It is okay that I don’t have as much energy or joy right now.
If I were to minimize the strain I was experiencing, I would feel worthless when I reached the end of the day because I wasn’t performing optimally.
Accepting and allowing myself to feel overwhelmed allows me the freedom to celebrate the small wins along the way. Getting some writing in is better than none. It is incrementally better, and that is what matters right now.
Reduce Your Obligations
One of the most effective ways to get through an overwhelming season in our lives is to reduce our obligations. This can be really hard when we have lots of things we like to do or feel we need to do on our calendar.
During a recent crisis, I needed to cancel everything on my plate for the entire week. This meant writing emails to get deadlines extended, canceling some important appointments, and turning off certain app notifications. It wasn’t fun, but I needed to prioritize what really mattered.
Reducing my obligations for a few weeks helped me feel less overwhelmed.
Ask For (and Receive) Help
When dealing with an overwhelming season, sometimes it can be hard to reach out and ask for help. It can also feel awkward to accept help for things we usually can do ourselves.
But trying to maintain our normal routines when we have a crisis in our lives will not work. We can’t keep doing things like we always have because, for now, our lives are in disarray.
As the beagles were spitting up non-stop the other day, I realized that I needed help to sit down and eat lunch. That is not something I usually need help with! But, it was a circus in our house. One beagle would spit up, I’d clean it up, and the other would start. How was I going to eat lunch with the constant mess? It was a disaster. Thankfully, my family was around to hold the leashes and be on clean-up duty so I could eat.
Sometimes, people will offer to help us, but we feel uncomfortable saying yes. I get it! We want to “be okay” during this season, and saying yes to help could mean we “aren’t okay.”
Our church offered to provide a meal train during my radiation treatment, and my first thought was, “No, we can take care of it ourselves.” After all, we had been doing okay with meals after surgery.
Thankfully, a dear friend encouraged me to say yes because it would take one thing off our plate as Dave transitioned back to work. So, I agreed.
I’m so glad I listened to her! I didn’t anticipate how exhausted I would be during radiation. Those dinners were so helpful.
Asking for and being willing to receive help can be one way to find peace during overwhelming seasons.
Keep A Bare Bones Routine
When I’m walking through an overwhelming season in my life, I try to keep the most bare-bones routines in place. This means reading my books during morning coffee, eating regular meals, praying, exercising, getting clean and dressed daily, and going to bed at a decent hour.
These routines help me to feel good as I move through the day. I may be exhausted because I was up with a noisy beagle all night, but at least I’m in clean clothes, and my pearls are on.
Don’t underestimate the power of a refreshing shower and a 30-minute walk. They can do wonders for our mental and physical well-being!
Treat Yourself
After writing most of this post, I went to brew my afternoon coffee and realized I was out! I thought about driving to Peet’s, picking some beans up, and bringing them back. Sure, that would work and be the most efficient way to handle things.
But I needed a break, so I got the dogs settled and walked to Peet’s instead. It was so refreshing to get outside, breathe the fresh air, and not listen to the latest round of beagle spit-up. I ordered myself a mocha along with the beans and sat outside, savoring the treat. I enjoyed the sunshine and let my mind wander.
Treating myself didn’t take much time out of my day, but it was a worthwhile investment in my well-being.
When we feel overwhelmed, it can be tempting to eliminate the things we love. In doing so, we deprive ourselves of simple joys that may lift our spirits. Find moments in your day to do something small, just for yourself. This could mean getting a mocha, refreshing your manicure, reading a fun book, or doing a craft.
Treating yourself is worth it— especially when you are feeling overwhelmed.
It’s been tough to walk through this latest overwhelming season. It feels like one unexpected thing on top of another. Cognitively, I know that it will end, but emotionally, I’m exhausted. So, I will keep accepting the latest dose of hard, asking for help, reducing my obligations, keeping my basic routines in place, and treating myself. I know these things have helped me in the past, and while it may not feel like it, they are helping me now, too.
Finding peace in overwhelming seasons is tough- and sometimes I feel like we cancer survivors should get a pass on them. But, sadly, that isn’t the case. Instead we need to find ways to develop resilience and find peace during challenging times.
Jennifer Douglas
Jennifer is the author of "A Breast Cancer Journey: Living it One Step at a Time," breast cancer survivor, and patient advocate. Her book, published in 2023 by Bold Story Press, is an encouraging guide for breast cancer patients. It contains first-hand information, organized by topics, to help readers navigate the diagnosis, treatment, and recovery from breast cancer. Her writing emphasizes emotional, mental, and physical well-being along with empowered decision-making.
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