Confessions of an Anxious Traveler: Is It Possible to Avoid the Pre-Vacation Panic?

I have a confession to make. I am an anxious traveler. There, I said it. Beneath the smiling faces I share in the photos, there can be an undercurrent of panic and anxiety. Sometimes I think I like the idea of traveling rather than the actual traveling part. I’m especially prone to pre-vacation panic.

My family knows this well. They see me put off the planning, defer the decisions, freak out during packing, and worry when things don’t go as I think they should. But I don’t photograph those moments. The ones where I can’t stop my mind from spinning because I’m worried I might forget something. I tend not to Instagram when I’m yelling at my family about all the things left to do. 

What Does My Pre-Vacation Panic Look Like?

If you were to be a fly on the wall before many of our vacations, you would have seen me panic right up until we pulled away from the house.

It’s not pretty. Sorry family!

So why do I panic? Lots of reasons. Here are just a few:

What If: 

• this trip doesn’t go perfectly?
• my family hates it?
• we get sick or hurt?
• something goes wrong?
• the hotel is terrible?
• we forget something?

I can tell you that all of those things have happened. Some of them happened on the same trip! 

Dave likes to say sometimes we have memories and sometimes we have stories! When things go well, we bring home treasured memories. And, when things go wrong, we have plenty of stories to tell.

Can I Avoid Pre-Vacation Panic? 

That is something I’m learning how to do. I’m not skilled at it yet, but I’m getting better. Part of this process is understanding who I am and how a vacation can challenge the things that make me feel safe.

I am a woman who loves her routines and comforts. These are easy to create at home and nearly impossible to do while traveling. 

Routines and vacations don’t go together. Whether I travel on a strict budget or splurge on a fancy hotel and meals, there’s always something new to deal with. The coffee isn’t like home. The noises in the rooms keep me up at night. There are new foods and unknown situations.

This novelty is part of vacationing. And yet, there are times I spend more time worrying about how things aren’t quite perfect that I miss the moment.

Does the Anxiety Help?

In a few reflective moments on our New York City trip, I began to think about my propensity to worry so much before and during vacations. Was this really helping? Why was I worrying? And what does success really look like on vacation?

The funny thing is that things will go wrong on vacation, whether you worry about it or not. So when I stop to think about it that way, why should I ruin the joy with anxiety?

It is easier for me to write that than to put it into practice.

I have been learning, especially over the past few vacations, how to recognize my tendency to be anxious. Could I vacation without the anxiety?

For me, one of the best ways to approach that was to begin before the vacation started.  

Avoiding Pre-Vacation Panic

There are so many things to do before we leave on vacation. Do we have clean clothes? Is the mail taken care of? Have I paid all the bills? Who is taking care of the dogs? Have I left food in the fridge that’s going to spoil? Do the kids know what to pack?

That’s a lot of things to think about, and I haven’t put anything in the suitcase yet!

As we drove off to the airport at 4AM a few weeks ago, I realized that I hadn’t panicked during the pre-vacation packing and preparation time. I was shocked and pleased. I’d even gotten to bed at a decent hour. What happened?

It wasn’t one thing, but many, that came together to help us have a smooth family departure for vacation.

Delegate: 

In years past, I have tried to take on all the tasks to get ready for vacation. I had to clean the entire house, pack suitcases for Dave and me, and make checklists for the kids. I felt like I needed to lead all the aspects of travel, right down to figuring out what is the right time to leave for the airport.

When the kids were younger, I needed to make sure they brought the right clothes and had all the necessary things to keep them busy.  

I was exhausted, and typically I didn’t start packing my suitcase until late at night. I remember packing for one trip at 11PM and being unable to think straight. When we left for Europe with the kids, everyone else had a warm jacket to bring. Except me. I was freezing most of the trip because I forgot to pack my warm coat.  

Now, I delegate. I do not need to do everything for everyone before a trip.  

Dave figures out where we’re parking and when we should leave. He travels a lot for business, so he understands traffic better than I do.

The kids do their laundry and pack themselves. If they need new clothes or toiletries before a trip, it is their responsibility to tell me or go get it themselves.

I pack myself early in the day when I’m still alert.

Everyone packs their own suitcase. I’m happy to go over some ideas as to what to bring. But mom isn’t going to do it for you!

If the dogs are going to the dog sitter’s house, I have her pick them up the day before vacation so that I don’t need to think about their packing while I’m running around getting ready.

I assign house closing up chores to everyone- things like taking out the trash, closing the windows, and locking all the doors.  

Assign a Time for Panic:

A few years ago, I was in a panicked pre-vacation state. Dave looked at me and said, “Ok, Jen, if we haven’t left for the airport by 10, then you can panic.”  

I looked at him quizzically, “Really, I can only panic after a certain time?” Ha! Like that would work.

I was shocked when it did. After that, whenever I got worked up over everything left to do, I looked at my watch and realized it wasn’t panic time.  

Lower My Standards: 

I’m going to forget something. I just won’t remember it until I get there. So why worry about what I’m going to forget? I’ll buy it when I get there or do without.

If I leave the house a mess, it really doesn’t matter. Of course, I prefer to have a clean home to return to, but life happens.  

Put on Fun Packing Music: 

Packing is more fun with a fun atmosphere. So now, when packing and getting the house ready, I put on fun music. It keeps me energized and excited for the vacation.

Have a Great Suitcase:

I have traveled for years with cheap suitcases. They hold my clothes but then they break in the middle of vacation. It has become a family joke because my suitcase always breaks, and someone has to deal with it for the rest of the trip.

 Recently, I splurged and purchased an Away suitcase and carry-on. Totally worth the money. The suitcase rolls like a dream and holds so many clothes! The carry-on slips onto the suitcase, so I don’t need to carry a backpack. With my herniated disc injury, I discovered that backpacks were not an option anymore. Now, I can keep up with the guys at the airport and not strain my back or shoulder.  

Make Lists:

I have a lot of packing lists. I even have one that is a “before leaving the house list.” These help me remember what I like to do before I leave the house. Sitting down and planning helps me avoid panic.

Plan Ahead in Case Someone Gets Sick:

I remember being in agony in Europe several years ago. I had wrenched my shoulder trying to carry my suitcase all by myself (see the section on delegating). I needed painkillers and cold medication- because I was sick too. Purchasing them in France required me to talk to the pharmacist about our symptoms. I could do it, but I would have rather had the medication in my bag.

Now I travel with a selection of medications and the necessary covid tests. Knowing that I have things in my suitcase if someone hurts themselves on vacation gives me great peace of mind. As our needs change, I continue to add medications to the bag so that the next trip is a little easier.

Start Vacationing Before You Leave:

This is definitely a mindset tip. I have decided that the vacation begins when I stop doing my work- whether that’s writing or homemaking. I can embrace the relaxed vacation mindset before I leave the house. There is no fancy rule that says you have to start vacationing outside the home!

So there you have it, a few of my tips for avoiding the pre-vacation panic. Addressing my tendency for pre-vacation panic helps me start the vacation with a relaxed and open mindset. This will carry into a more enjoyable vacation for everyone involved!